


Make Me

by Spideypoolhell



Category: Deadpool - Fandom, Marvel, Spiderman - Fandom, spideypool - Fandom
Genre: Bottom!Wade, Crack, Fluff, Funny Smut, Humour, Identity Reveal, Love Confessions, M/M, Peter Parker just whipping off that mask before BLAMMO, Smut, Spideypool - Freeform, identity reveal during sex, more people should write about that, sweety Petey, top!Peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-06-08
Packaged: 2018-07-13 21:14:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,902
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7137431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spideypoolhell/pseuds/Spideypoolhell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Silly Spideypool smut, complete crack. Love confessions and identity reveals, Spider-man and Deadpool are in love. They have hilarious buttsex. Peter tops, Wade bottoms, it gets hot and kooky. Shut up, idiots, and kiss something, because that's how Peter Parker kisses Wade Wilson. Now read this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Make Me

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all laugh reading this as much as I laughed writing it.
> 
> I was probably high the entire time I wrote this, like everytime I write Spideypool.

“I brought back so much great art of you and me from the convention Spidey, oh I can't wait to show you-”

“Wade.”

“There are so many fans of ours that want to see us together! You should have come with me, babe-”

“Shut up.”

“We could make so much money making out for our adoring fans-”

“WADE!”

“Or make even more money doing sluttier things.”

“SHUT UP!!”

“Make me!” Wade suddenly grabbed Spider-man from around his waist and and yanked him into a fierce kiss. They hastily pulled their masks above their noses and pressed their lips together, an “mmm” noise escaped them and turned into a moan as they opened their mouths to let their tongues greet each other. They gripped each others asses for dear life.

The kissing continued for several minutes, as well as the groping. They sighed, groaned, moaned, giggled, sighed some more because they were running out of breath from all the kissing and giggling and moaning and groaning. 

“God, I missed you,” Wade breathed out in an awed voice. His perpetually cranky spider's heart melted and Spider-man kissed the merc all over his masked cheeks.

“I missed you too.” Spider-man buried his face into Deadpool's neck and hugged him tightly. Deadpool couldn't remember ever feeling so happy, or ever feeling as if anyone had ever missed him.

“Can we have sweet spider sex now?” Wade asked hopefully.

“Oh.” Spider-man said icily and pushed Deadpool away, “is that all you missed?” Ice, ice baby.

“No, I also missed that sexy, angry voice you get whenever you're around me,” the white eyes in Deadpool's mask made him seem so sweet and innocent even though Spider-man knew he was the opposite.

“Is that all?” Spider-man growled, not sure if he was angry or aroused or both.

“I also missed those piercing glares that stab me in my soul every time your big, white eyes narrow. Oh, I can only imagine what those eyes must really look like, how beautiful they must be, how the man of my dreams looks like under the mask when he's angry at me, or how you look when you have those other emotions, whatever they are...” Deadpool trailed off because Spidey was strangely silent and Wade couldn't tell if he was going to get punched or kissed.

“You actually wonder about my face and identity? Not just my butt?” Spider-man sounded surprised. Wade had sent Spider-man countless love letters and poems that were addressed specifically to his butt.

“I think about all of you all of the time! Oh, but mostly your butt, and I missed your butt the most this past week,” Wade squeezed Spidey's ass lovingly, his huge grin was apparent through the mask.

For the past week Deadpool had been at a big convention for super fans of super people and other awesome dork stuff. He had been paid to be there which was a huge bonus. He also made extra cash on the side by allowing his crazier fans to stab him and then take selfies with him in exchange for money. Spider-man had freaked out at him when he had heard this.

 

“YOU'RE LETTING PEOPLE STAB YOU FOR MONEY? Only I am allowed to stab you,” Spider-man's manly voice had rumbled through the phone.

“Chill babe, I'm not letting anyone stab me with their penis, only you get to do that. I only let people use tiny knives, it's my schtick. Anyway, you've never stabbed me with anything other than your dick, so.. What's the big?”

“The big is I care about you and I don't want you getting stabbed,” Spider-man had to pull the phone back because the 'AWW” that came from Wade was so loud it hurt his ear. Wade had only been gone half a week at that point and Spidey had already felt like a blanket of gloom had enveloped New York and GOD what was WRONG with him?

“When you get stabbed I get stabbed... In the feelings,” Spider-man said it sincerely and Wade nearly cried. Then they both laughed.

 

Anyway, back to the present: Deadpool and Spider-man were standing on a rooftop, Deadpool had come running immediately to Spider-man once he landed in New York and freshened up. It was 2 am, after Spidey's patrol and Wade had just told Spider-man that he thought about all of him all of the time but mostly his butt and lord after a week of no sex with his spider DP needed SM BAD.

Spider-man sighed and pulled Deadpool into his warm embrace and kissed his chest, right over his heart. Deadpool kissed Spider-man on his forehead. 

“Well, I guess I can accept the fact that you missed my butt the most since I haven't shown you enough of myself for you to miss my other non-physical parts... Do you want that to change?” Spider-man's voice was silky and it sent a shudder through Wade's body. Wade rubbed his hands all over Spidey's back and it sent a shudder through Spider-man's body.

“I want to know you so badly, I love you.” It was the first time Wade had said it out loud, ooops, too soon? Oh well, he didn't really care. Wade was tired of hyping up the phony, loony tunes charade that was his life. Deadpool had made sweet, sexy love to Spider-man thrice already and he had to be a better man if he wanted to win Spidey's love back, an honest man, by George, whoever George was.

“Waaade,” Spider-man giggled all embarrassed, “you can't love me, you don't even know my real name or my what my face looks like or anything else about who I am when I'm not Spider-man, you wonderful dumbass,” Spider-man already knew he was web-head-over-heels for Wade but he wasn't ready to admit it. Although, their relationship had been escalating into something adorable and romantic long before they finally jumped each other thunderously against a brick wall.

Spider-man had fret all over his apartment and New York when Wade had left the state to go to a convention. They had only been hooking up for a week and already Wade was leaving. It was only a few days, but still, why was it bothering SM so much? Why did he feel like his world was crumbling when he thought of Wade having weird orgies with fans in his hotel room? Deadpool had some pretty weird fans and Spider-man didn't want anyone else eating his delicious, funfetti man cake that was Wade Wilson. God, Wade didn't even know his name, he wasn't married to Spider-man. SM knew at that point that whether he liked it or not he was all in and needed to show Wade his non-spidery self.

 

Wade had finished his first day at the con.

“I don't want you to imagine Spider-man when we talk on the phone, I just wanna be like...this guy, who looks like...a guy.”

Peter was enjoying their phone conversations a lot. They talked about the stupid , little victories and losses in their day-to-day lives that made them more human. Peter's voice took on a different tone out of costume, more laid-back and jolly rather than the stern, focused force that being Spider-man made him.

“Does this guy want to tell me anything else about what he looks like?” Wade's voice teased.

“Not yet, I want it to be a surprise... soon, if you can earn my trust, I mean, I wanna trust, I just have trust issues-”

“I know, baby, I know, me too. I'm gonna earn your trust, but first... I just want you to know that I've been telling all my fans that Spider-man is my boyfriend,” Wade almost burst into laughter.

“See, telling people about our relationship without my consent isn't trust building,” Peter's voice didn't sound angry at all, in fact it was flirty and cute.

“Oh wow, so you are confirming our boyfriend status?” Wade pumped a fist in the air.

“If you want me to be your boyfriend then you're going to have to have the guts to ask me naked-face to naked-face.” 

They both giggled like teenagers in love.

“I can't wait to have a naked face off with you. Anyway, it's not like anyone will believe we are boyfriends. I just wanted to tell the fans because it brings them joy. Also, I want everyone to know that you have dibs on this sweet, melty man bod, y'know because there are numerous people lining up to slice off a hunk of this crispy flesh.”

“...I don't want anyone touching me either. Except you, Wade,” Peter's voice was all sweetness and Wade growled possessively.

Then they had phone sex for the first time.

Mostly Peter just listened to Wade's filthy talk and moaned into the phone for him, any coherent speech he could muster went something like “wanna cum on your (insert body part here)”.

 

Oh shit, back to the present. Wade had just confessed his LOVE to Spider-man, who he wasn't even technically dating yet because they hadn't done the talking face-to-face without masks thing (and Wade didn't even know Spider-man's NAME). They had, however, called dibs on each others bodies. The exclusivity of their relationship made it feel like they were a couple (almost). 

“I want to know everything about you, when you are ready,” Wade hugged Spider-man more tightly than he did with his Spider-man body pillow at night.

“I think I'm ready... and now I'm kidnapping you and taking you to my apartment!” Spider-man scooped up Deadpool in his arms as if he weighed no more than a cat; he tossed Wade into the air and caught him. Deadpool was giggling madly, so overjoyed. He latched onto Spider-man like a Koala bear. Spider-man swung them back to his place. It was really hard to see in front of him with Wade hugging the front of his body, making it almost impossible to navigate but he somehow managed. Wade got crushed against a few walls accidentally but he was too happy to care.

When Spider-man shucked them inside through his window. Wade looked at the shitty apartment with reverence, like how people admire old, beautiful churches, except Spider-man's apartment was plain as fuck. The super-hero didn't have much time for decoration, the best he had managed for the walls was a periodic table of elements poster. Every little pencil and fridge magnet was scrutinized by Wade Wilson who wanted to soak in as much about the person behind his favourite spider mask as he possibly could.

“Peter Parker.”

Wade whipped his head around.

“Who?”

“Me,” Peter closed the space between them and kissed Wade tenderly.

Wade should have just kept making out with Spide- Peter but he couldn't keep his mouth from speaking.

“Oh shit. OH MY GOD! You're... Peter? I thought for sure you'd be an Alan, or an Andrew-” Peter shut Wade up with a kiss. 

“Shut up, idiot-” Peter was getting impatient, he had missed Wade terribly and wanted the sex just as much as his baby man did.

“Oh, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter-” Peter gulped Wade's words with his mouth and smacked Deadpool's spandexy ass.

“It's my turn to top, don't make me get catty,” Peter bit Wade's neck. Wade whimpered. Then Peter was lifting Wade up unceremoniously, in a strange, uncomfortable position. He tossed Wade halfway through his apartment, through his open bedroom door and onto his messy bed. Wade was howling with laughter at the ridiculousness of it. He screamed as a spider Peter came out of nowhere and dropped down on top of him from the ceiling. 

Peter was kissing Wade's body like a madman while Wade couldn't stop chuckling. Peter's gloved hands were roaming under Wade's shirt, down his pants, oh- and then Wade stopped laughing and gasped instead. A minute later Peter was furiously sucking and beating Wade off without any abandon, like so incredibly fast Wade wasn't even sure what was happening, but he was into it. Peter pulled his own pants down around his thighs and moved upwards to kiss Wade's mouth in a sexy, hot way and pushed their hard, hard cocks together like wrestlers wrestling.

Peter was flopping all over Wade like a goldfish out of water. He was like a coked-up chipmunk humping a much bigger, hairless, muscular chipmunk. Wade just put his hands behind his head and let Peter (who was still dressed up as Spider-man) do his thing. Peter's hands and mouth were everywhere. Wade said Peter's name over and over again in different intonations depending on which spot Peter hit.

Peter took his mouth party back down south to Wade's dripping erection. He licked it like a popsicle before licking Wade's balls like they were jaw breakers. Then he lifted Wade's legs up and apart and went down on Wade's ass like it was cotton candy.

There was lube somewhere, and somehow all their clothes had come off (except their masks). Peter was fingering Wade's juicy melon butt while biting down hard along Wade's thighs. Wade just kept screaming Peter's name. Peter was merciless with his fingers, tickling Wade's prostate into agony. Thank god Peter trimmed and filed his nails regularly.

“Need to fuck you... No I need to make sweet, sweet love to you... Let's slow it down,” Peter was on his knees with Wade's glorious butt-hole in front of him, just begging to be destroyed. Peter inserted his penis into Wade as slowly as possible, their breathing hitched. 

Peter set a slow, rhythmic pace and buried his head into Wade's pecs. Wade's big, muscular mammaries were Peter's favourite body part. He couldn't stop himself from grabbing and squeezing them, kissing and licking them all over and sucking Wade's nipples. Wade just chuckled, clearly pleased. Somehow Wade could get ahold of his composure in the midst of sex while Peter was fucking gone. It drove Peter fucking crazy how Wade just gloated over him and smirked like a jackass while Peter became a crazy sex animal and completely lost his shit. 

“Mm, harder, Peter, HARDER!” Wade's body could take a lot of abuse. Peter was always afraid to hurt his idiot, he would wait for Wade's command before pounding his body really hard. He did so now, but then he brought it back to a sweeter, gentler pace.

“No, I wannnna make sweeet love to your body, not just hit it like you're ass is a punching bag and my dick is a fist,” Peter grunted and hugged Wade tightly. Wade made cute noises of appreciation, squeezing his butt muscles around Peter's dick as his own way of hugging back, since Peter's arms were currently pinning Wade's arms against his body. 

Wade wished there was a mirror on the ceiling so he could get a better view of Peter's ass rocking up in the air as Peter made sweet, whooping whoopie to him. After several minutes of tender love-making Peter hoisted himself up, extending him arms and placing his palms over Wade's boobs.

“I'mgonnacumsoon, youwannacum? Youwantmetojerkyouofformakemewatchyoutouch yourself, sohotsohotshoot” Peter was speaking too fast to make much sense, a habit of his when he was edging close to orgasm. Wade jerked himself off so Peter could watch and frantically touch Wade all over his body. 

“Fuck these masks!” Peter tossed off his own mask for the first time and let his dark chocolate locks tumble out. It was the first time Wade had ever seen his face and now they were both about to fucking lose it. Wade took off his mask too.

“OOOH PETEEER PEEETER OOH BABY YOU'RE SO FUCKING HOT, DAMN, OH PEEETEEE!!!” Wade came first.

“OOOOOOOHHHHH WAAAAAAADEE FUCK YES WADE I LOVE YOU OOH WAADE!!!” Peter came almost at the same time, because fan fiction.

Peter collapsed on top of Wade's chest. Wade stroked Peter's hair like he was a kitten and Peter mewled and whimpered, hugging Wade's torso. 

“Mmm, Peter, baby boy, spiderbabe, sweet Pete, my sweet peach butt, peachy keen Petey keen, pretty, perfect Peter, Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater-” Wade rambled once he caught his breath.

“Shut up, you sexy twat.” Peter was still catching his breath and was kissing Wade's tits. 

“Did you mean it? You know, when you said...” Wade was too happy and post-orgasmic to be bothered if the 'I love you' was just a heat of passion thing or not, but he still wanted to know the truth.

“I think so... No, I'm pretty damn certain. I love you. I've tried so hard to stop myself from loving you for so long but it's useless. I give up, I'm yours. My heart and body are yours, so be gentle. Or not, be a little rough, with my body, not my heart.” 

Wade kissed Peter's head, “I love you Peter... and now I'm going to take a sexy shower with you in your (hopefully) clean bathroom and make sweet, beautiful love to your ass, because, you know, equality.” They made sure to take turns topping and bottoming, completely 50/50, because that's love, bitch.

“I love you Wade,” they bumped fists, then bumped lips, “wanna be my boyfriend?”

“Hey! I was supposed to be the one to ask, but yes, yes, yes yes-” Wade was cut off by a kiss.

So began the ridiculous adventures of SPIDER-MAN (AKA Peter Parker) & DEADPOOL (AKA Wade Wilson): SUPER BOYFRIENDS

 

THE END

Or is it?

**Author's Note:**

> Maybe more? Maybe. I dunno, maybe if I feel like writing some funny, kinky smut.


End file.
